I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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