I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
