We won't sleep together?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
