She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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