I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Such a big mess for such a small penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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