He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
