he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize