hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
