omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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