i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
