Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
