She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
