So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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