I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
