dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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