Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize