batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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