Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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