Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
