In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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