quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
