I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
smell my finger.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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