she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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