Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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