Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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