do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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