I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
time to smoke my breakfast
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
