Too much gin, very little bucket
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
as a side note pls kill me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
