Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
