can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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