Just fell off a train. Bad.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
