I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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