It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize