just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
