That's intense
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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