Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
