We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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