I think my fart just growled at me.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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