you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
