i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
