new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
