So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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