So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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