im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
