Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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