i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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