We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
