she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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