I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
