he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
