Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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