he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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