I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
