I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
