Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
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