Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Toxik hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us

Fav 0 1143 1475
share tweet
(586): View more from Michigan

I mean a good dj is a huge turn on

Fav 10 1534 775
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

Fav 41 4155 1763
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

Fav 14 6400 1048
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

Fav 40 5409 3694
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.

Fav 10 4208 1002
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me

Fav 9 1192 3309
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.

Fav 2 1686 710
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

Fav 3 885 504
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT