Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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