You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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